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EUROPE! Please come see my bands perform in your city! [07 May 2008|06:04am]
Hi everyone! (Europeans!)

I'm about to leave for my European tour with my two bands Gregor Samsa and Kayo Dot. I'm so excited! If you can come to our performances, I can't tell you how much it would mean to me, really!

Here are the tour dates for just <a href="http://www.gregorsamsamyspace.com">Gregor Samsa</a>:

08th may | Leuven - BE | Stuk
09th may | Karlsruhe - GE | Jubez
10th may | Würzburg - GE | Cairo
11th may | Berlin - GE | Schokoladen
12th may | Leipzig - GE | Nato
13th may | München - GE | Kafe Kult
14th may | Vienna - AU | Chelsea
15th may | Foligno (PG) - IT | Feedback
16th may | Milano - IT | Leoncavallo
17th may | Pestoia - IT | Melos
18th may | Roma - It | Traffic
19th may | France | Tba
20th may | San Sebastian - SP | la Casa de Cultura de Okendo
21th may | Spain | Tba
22th may | Barcelona - SP | BeCool
23th may | Lyon - FR | La marquise + For The Chosen Few
24th may | Bièvre - BE | Tba
25th may | Brugge - BE | Cactus

Then here is the schedule for Gregor Samsa and <a href="http://www.myspace.com/kayodot">Kayo Dot</a> together! (Yay!)

26th may | Paris - FR | Mains d’Oeuvres
27th may | Amiens - FR | Le Grand Wazoo
28th may | Luzern - Luzern | Treibhaus
29th may | Frankfurt - GE | Elfer
30th may | Luxembourg | Dqliq
31th may | Münster - GE | Gleis 22
1st June | Duisburg - GE | Steinbruck

And finally, just Kayo Dot alone:

6/2 Berlin, Germany @ Cassiopeia
6/3 Copenhagen, Denmark @ Lades Kaelder
6/4 Dresden, Germany @ Az Conni
6/5 Prague, Czech Republic @ Chateau Rouge
6/6 Munich, Germany @ Feierwerk
6/7 Frankfurt, Germany @ Elfer
6/8 Rotterdam, Netherlands @ Worm

I really hope to see you there and meet you!! :)

11 comments|post comment

Hair monster + goal [05 Jun 2007|06:28am]
[ mood | dorky ]

See? Didn't I say it would grow back all fast like a creepy-ass, parasitic headmonster? :)
(It seemed to have grown back sort of blurrily too. Hmm.)

I've actually decided that I'm going to take the creepiness of my ridiculously thick, fast-growing hair to another level... a new experiment! I'm going to try to grow it as looooong as I possibly can. I'm hoping all the way down to my feet! I'm pretty sure I can do it. It'll be heavy, like wearing a an octopus for a hat, like they do in those Japanese octopus/lesbian porns, but less slimy/tentacled. (Let's hope.)

23 comments|post comment

[14 May 2007|08:44pm]
Hello hello, I know, I know. (I could have shortened that to Hello x 2, I know x 2, but it's too late now!) I'm sorry I don't really update my journal too often anymore. I'm kind of severely anti-internet/computer these days, coupled with that annoying/icky hermit mode that I seem to get off and on. When I use the computer now, the monitor light always feels bad/potentially toxic on my face (electromagnetism), shoulders become hunched, too many eyedrops, I can feel my eyes calcifying, etc. (In other words, computer = bad.)

But I thought I'd electromagneticute myself for a little bit to let you know that Toby Driver (composer/guitarist/vocalist/clarinet player of our band, Kayo Dot) and I have self-released a new CD! Here's the little blurb thingy that we've been posting around on the internet:

At long last, Sixty Metonymies is here! Performed by Toby Driver (electric guitar, vocals) and Mia Matsumiya (acoustic violin) of avant-garde rock group Kayo Dot and accompanied by Tim Byrnes (trumpet) and Andrew Greenwald (percussion) of Friendly Bears under the moniker Tartar Lamb, this full-length CD package features the title piece, a modern electroacoustic quartet exquisitely recorded by Randall Dunn (Sunn0))), Earth, Boris, Burning Witch, etc) and beautiful hand-painted artwork by Toby printed in a high-quality parchment insert and contained in a classy fiberboard jacket. Twenty-one difficult months in the making and 100% self-financed, we went through (to say the least!) great personal strife (including a broken-down van in the middle of a January snowstorm in Nowhere, Wisconsin where they didn't even have good cheese) just to bring you this delicious CD! We're selling it for $12 plus shipping (see shipping costs below). If you'd like to purchase a copy (pleeaaaaase!?), please send Paypal payment to  shirts@kayodot.net. :)



Shipping info, etc:
For shipping of the Tartar Lamb CD, please add:
$3 domestic (USA)
$4 for Canada and Mexico
$7 for overseas air-mail

Thank you so much and I hope you enjoy!!

34 comments|post comment

PETITE females in the NYC area needed! [15 Mar 2007|05:17pm]
Hi! I'm going to be acting in an ad for a gothic community website called vampirefreaks.com, directed by my friend Dan Ouellette on March 31st and he's looking for a very petite woman (i'm 4'9"!) to play opposite of me. We'll be made up to look like little dolly-looking girls. Would you be interested? Dan's directed some amazing music videos, including "Stained" and "Dragonfly" by Android Lust, which you can watch here, as well as "Blue" by the Birthday Massacre, which you can watch here... just to reassure you that he's a serious director and not some weird pervo, haha!

Here are some more details, as explained by him:

The ads are in the same vein as the music videos and are rather darkly humorous. The role is basically that of a young girl playing with her friend. In one they are performing open heart surgery on their teddy bear. Unfortunately they make a mistake and the bear goes flatline. They cry. In the other, they are cobbling together a Frankenstein doll out of old Barbie doll parts, sewing them together to form a gruesome whole. When they try to animate it with electrodes it turns into a melted doll.. A second attempt succeeds in turning it into a puddle of goo... then the arm rises suddenly scaring them. The acting is really, just giggling, being scared and crying loudly if possible!! No dialogue.

The shoot is set for the 31st of March. You would be paid a flat rate for the day. There will, of course, also be food and transportation. In addition to this, I'd need to meet you prior to the shoot and then have you meet with a costume designer for a wardrobe fitting. These would only be brief meetings in NYC. If you cannot get into the city, I could arrange for this as well.

This is an interesting opportunity for the right person... and could be fun!!

Let me know if you are interested or want to know any else about this.


Dan Ouellette

Oh, and when e-mailing him, please attach some pictures of yourself. I think this could be really, really fun/awesome! And please feel free to pass this along to any tiny girls that you may know that you think would be good for the part. Thank you! :)
5 comments|post comment

fat study part two + hi, my name is connie chung. [21 Dec 2006|01:23am]
Hmm... so the fat study part 2 was a little disappointing. It was the exact same procedure as last time, but this time there was no exciting strawberry milk-colored pink blood at all! (presumably this was because I had been taking diabetes medication for two weeks and it did its predicted job?) It was what I was looking forward to seeing and photographing the most. I ended up having slept almost the entire time and when I finished, I still felt warm and whaley like last time. So, unfortunately, I don't have much of a story to tell this time, but I *did* happen to snap some arty-looking, morgue-ish looking photos!

P.S. - Because of the perspective, my boobs look gigantic here. This is very untrue to life because in real life they look more like crusty little mosquito bites with black, inverted nipples glued onto them.

... and then just today I chopped all my hair off. I felt like I needed some sort of change in my appearance, but it was a very bad move. I was pretty unhappy with it when I walked out of the salon, but it was still acceptable:

It just didn't suit me. And it was very, very greasy from wax (I felt like an unused candle made from old lipemia), so okay, I washed it. Uh oh. It's lost all texture and because of how thick it is and it looks like a gigantic round wig. To put it more clearly, now I look like Connie Chung crossed with a retarded, round-headed Asian snowman. SWEET! And I guess I'm stuck looking like Connie/Ball-headed Snowgirl until this thing grows out. Luckily, my hair grows like a ridiculously fast parasitic hair-monster and hey, let's face it: it's just some stupid, disposable, regrowable hair. But still. Remind me to listen to people when they tell me not to cut off all my hair next time. Thanks in advance! :(

(I tricked you, by the way. I don't *really* have black, inverted nipples! I am just so "clever" like that.)
19 comments|post comment

i tried to take a picture of my new red highlights, but they didn't really come out in the photo [13 Dec 2006|10:46pm]

... i'm chopping all this hair off next week too.
17 comments|post comment

It's official! [13 Dec 2006|05:47pm]
[ mood | excited ]

Eeeiee! I just found out about this... Kayo Dot's next album will be released on Hydra Head Records, alongside such artists as Cave In, Boris, Khanate, Daughters, Mare, Isis, Oxbow, Pelican, Merzbow, and many others! Wow! I'm very, very, very excited/beyond happy about this! We're planning to record in late spring/early summer 2007 and are aiming for a late 2007/early 2008 release. :)

*peeing pants*

14 comments|post comment

Also, please go listen to this! [12 Dec 2006|11:47pm]
I recently recorded some violin for a track of the upcoming Ghastly City Sleep (the new project of current and former members of Gregor Samsa, City of Caterpillar, Majority Rules, Pg. 99, and some others... Nikki from Gregor Samsa also does some guest vocals for this track... yay!) and was able to hear the completed and mastered song on Myspace for the first time today. My violin comes in a little past the 6 minute mark. Please check it out at this link and add them as a friend if you like it! The album should be coming out soon on the wonderful Robotic Empire Records (same label to my band, Kayo Dot) and I can't wait to hear the entire album. Sounds breathtakingly gorgeous so far... wow!

Upcoming guest recording sessions: Yakuza and Starkweather! Eeeieee! :)
7 comments|post comment

Self-inflicted Atherosclerosis Time! [12 Dec 2006|11:43pm]
As you may already know, I love being a guinea pig in medical studies. That's why when I saw a medical study in Boston involving a five hour infusion of fat (lipemia) directly pumped into the veins in order to observe its effects on the circulatory system, it made my eyes widen and my heart flutter with curiosity! I had to do it! What creepiness could this one unlock? Or percolate, I guess, since we're talking about fat here. Besides, the doctor assured me that the amount of fat being infused in my veins was only the equivalent of eating about 500 calories, the same as a Big Mac. Couldn't be too horrible, right? But then again, that's what I always think before entering medical studies. I just never learn because I have a mini, withered brain stem, etc.

It started off with all the regular stuff - peeing in a cup, vital signs, etc. Then yes, the exciting part! The actual fat, hanging from an I.V. cart came rolling into the room, jolly as ever. (Sidenote: "Fat" and "Jolly" seem like two adjectives to me that have always belonged hand in hand, don't you agree?) I stared at the bag. It was a whole lot of fat -- enough to fill a breast implant, really! -- and it was white, oozy-looking, and viscous. It actually resembled heavy cream mixed with bacon grease. It probably was heavy cream and bacon grease for all I know. Sort of paranoidly, I checked the nurses' outfits for oil splatters, but I didn't see any. I shuddered a little bit at the thought of that half-liquid/half-solid,  coagulated, semenish stuff churning through my veins, but it didn't dampen my spirits.

Here is a picture of the bag of hanging fat, next to a hanging bag of heparin, a blood thinner. Note that the heparin is completely clear and that the fat resembles an organic-looking, solid, white, globular mass that would readily multiply itself to take over a small suburban town in a matter of a few hours. Even the ants wouldn't be safe. It's not something you'd want to wash your face with either. You'd get acne.

So I sat there, cheerily staring at this pure, white fat pumping into my arm, feeling a teensy bit disturbed. Here is a picture of the fat running into my veins. I know that it looks like a white tube is running into my arm, but nope, that's just that opaque white goodness of fat filling up the tube! :(

I was still smiling a little when the nurse came over to draw my blood. And that's when my smile disappeared because when she drew the blood, MY BLOOD WAS PINK! I'm talking bright, strawberry yogurt, strawberry milk, Strawberry Shortcake fucking PINK! The white of the fat was mixed with the red of my blood, resulting in this hideously unnatural baby girl pink shower party happening, RIGHT IN MY VEINS. AHHHHHH! Not smiling at all anymore! :(

(Yes, I look 12 years old and prepubescent/goth in this photo. I'm going to attribute it to the Japanese hanadeka effect. Or maybe the fat did that? Uh oh!)

So I endured this fat vein torture for five straight hours. The nurses would come over every so often to draw my pink-ass blood and smile and I'd smile very uncomfortably back. You know when you mix cream into your coffee and it looks all tendrilly and pretty dancing about in your coffee? It was like that when she drew it up into a syringe, but a surreal pink hospital version! Admittedly though, it was sort of pretty too. On a scale of 1-10, I'd rate it a 6. For its stomach-churning abilities, I'd give it a 7, probably. By the time I left, I felt a little disoriented, warm, and like a whale, probably because all that fat coagulated underneath my skin and formed a protective layer of blubber. Hey, Boston gets really cold this time of year. Maybe in the long run this benefited me more than I think.

Most disturbing of all, this study isn't over! I'm taking diabetes medication right now - supposedly two weeks of this will protect my veins from the next liquid ambush of fat - and I'm supposed to go do this five hour fat infusion all over again next Tuesday! My poor, poor veins! What will happen to them? I'll keep you updated.
19 comments|post comment

Kayo Dot Autumn Tour Dates! [29 Aug 2006|03:43pm]
Sooo... gah! I'm leaving tomorrow for a 2-month+ long tour with my band, Kayo Dot. Of *course*, Murphy's Law says that I get sick right before I leave (I have long, sexy strings of mucousy mucous swinging off my mouth/nose region right now... yum!) Anyway, wish me luck and I hope to see you soon! Please come to a show if you can! We could definitely use the support. :)

Aug 30 @ Drifters / Nashua, NH with Ocean, Space Train, Devil in the Kitchen, and Phoenix Pyre
Aug 31 @ SPACE Gallery / Portland, ME with Ocean and Metempskyrie
Sep 1 @ 242 Main / Burlington, VT with Junius, Carrigan, Tell No One, and State Street Residential
Sep 2 @ End Hits Records / Ottawa, ON with Moth
Sep 3 @ Main Hall / Montreal, QC with Argon Floozy, Wapstan, and Cortisol
Sep 4 @ Dinosaur BBQ / Syracuse, NY
Sep 5 @ O'Brien's / Allston, MA with Headed For The Smoke and The Black
Sep 6 @ DAY OFF!
Sep 7 @ PA's Lounge / Somerville, MA - Tartar Lamb (Toby and Mia of Kayo Dot) in Somerville, MA with Dilly Dilly (members of Cerberus Shoal) and Fence Kitchen - NOT a Kayo Dot show!
Sep 8 @ Metropolis Music / Torrington, CT - 6 PM
Sep 9 @ Sin-E / Manhattan, NY with Made Out of Babies, Gospel, Versoma, and Rosetta
Sep 10 @ The Nest / Bridgeport, CT with Barnacle - EARLY SHOW! 5 PM
Sep 11 @ The Saint / Asbury Park, NJ with Day Without Dawn, So Is the Tongue, and Delft
Sep 12 @ The First Unitarian Church / Philadelphia, PA with Rosetta, Belegost, and Towers
Sep 13 @ The Talking Head Club / Baltimore, MD with Howling Hex (Neil Michael Hagerty of Royal Trux)
Sep 18 @ Garfield Art Works / Pittsburgh, PA with Brown Angel and Kalon
Sep 19 @ The Soundlab / Buffalo, NY with Novelist
Sep 20 @ The Drake Hotel / Toronto, ON with Mare and I Have Eaten the City
Sep 21 @ The Bohemian National Home / Detroit, MI with Larval
Sep 22 @ The Secret Location (2455 Broadway St.) / Indianapolis, IN with Holy Bible, Little Boots and Drusilla, and Larval
Sep 23 @ Lemp Arts / St. Louis, MO with Tatsuya Nakatani, Epicycle, and Larval
Sep 24 @ The Empty Bottle (The Wire's Adventures in Modern Music Fest) with Steinski, Hamid Drake/William Parker Duo, Trapist
Sep 25 @ The Cactus Club / Milwaukee, WI with Canyons of Static
Sep 26 @ Vaudeville Mews / Des Moines, IA with Pinebox Rhythm Revue
Sep 27 O'Leaver's / Omaha, NE with Shinyville
Sep 28 @ The Electric Snake / Wichita, KS with Yamoto
Sep 29 @ Monkey Mania / Denver, CO with The Autokinoton, Across Tundras, and Black Helicopters
Sep 30 @ The Urban Lounge / Salt Lake City, UT with Eagle Twin
Oct 1 @ The Grove Street Concert House / Boise, ID
Oct 2 @ The Funhouse / Seattle, WA with Book of Black Earth and Sugar Skulls
Oct 3 @ The Food Hole / Portland, OR with Mustaphamond
Oct 4 @ The Samurai Duck / Eugene, OR with The Hedonists
Oct 6 @ 1078 Gallery / Chico, CA with The Makai and Intronaut
Oct 7 @ The Hemlock Tavern / San Francisco, CA with Oxbow and Intronaut
Oct 8  @ The Blue Lagoon / Santa Cruz, CA with Intronaut
Oct 9 @ Casa De La Raza / Santa Barbara, CA with Intronaut, Crossbows and Catapults, Mars, and Rhino Charge
Oct 10 @ The Mountain Bar / Los Angeles, CA with Intronaut and Upsilon Acrux - **FREE** show!
Oct 11 @ Medical Abuse Records / Riverside, CA with TBA
Oct 12 @ The Jumping Turtle / San Marcos, CA with Intronaut and Variable
Oct 13 @ The Space (2015 E. 5th St. #10) / Tempe, AZ with Attack Of The Giant Squid and Arc Of The Aurora
Oct 14 @ Skrappy's / Tucson, AZ with North, Jaime J, and TBA
Oct 15 @ Zeppelin's Pub / El Paso, TX with Night of the Wrecking Ball and And The Furies Say
Oct 16 @ The Roadhouse / Odessa, TX with Church of the Snake, Pinstripe and Tweed
Oct 17 @ Rubber Gloves / Denton, TX with The Great Tyrant and TBA
Oct 18 @ Walters on Washington / Houston, TX with Tambersauro and Motion Turns It On
Oct 19 @ The Vortex / Beaumont, TX with Storms Threaten To Destroy
Oct 20 @ The Green Room / Hattiesburg, MS with That Yellow Bastard
Oct 22 @ Transitions Art Gallery / Tampa, FL with TBA
Oct 23 @ Backbone Music / West Palm Beach, FL with The Catalyst, Entropy, and Crusades
Oct 25 @ The Drunken Unicorn / Atlanta, GA with Ahleuchatistas
Oct 26 @ Ziggy's / Chattanooga, TN with Ahleuchatistas, Moscow Theatre Siege, and The Tracers
Oct 27 @ The Muse / Nashville, TN with Ahleuchatistas
Oct 28 @ The Rocket Club / Asheville, NC with Ahleuchatistas
Oct 29 @ The Spazzatorium / Greenville, NC with Giant
Oct 30 @ Gallery 5 (a.k.a. The Richmond Fire Museum) / Richmond, VA with Grails and Souvenir's Young America
Oct 31 @ The Rock and Roll Hotel / Washington, DC with Grails, Wooden Wand and Vanishing Voice, Kohoutek, and Piasa
Nov 6 @ Knitting Factory Tap Bar / Manhattan, NY with Grails, Friendly Bears, and Bloody Panda
41 comments|post comment

FREE Gregor Samsa show this Saturday in DC! [06 Aug 2006|02:44am]
Hi! Just letting you know that I'll be performing with Gregor Samsa on Saturday, August 12th at the Kennedy Center (Millenium Stage) in Washington DC, 6 PM. It's a totally FREE show so please come and bring your friends too!! :)
8 comments|post comment

request!! [05 May 2006|06:19pm]
Hey, when Toby and i played in Toronto in February, one of my LJ friends told us he may have recorded at least part of the set. Is there any way I can get a copy of that?
12 comments|post comment

and the music stuff: [20 Apr 2006|11:46pm]
In other news, most of the dates for my upcoming tour with Gregor Samsa have been confirmed! I'm beyond excited... all these cities that I've never been to before!

Here's what we have so far:

05.05. Netherlands/Belgium - TBA
06.05. UK - Newport @ Le Pub with Chariots
07.05. UK - Leeds @ The Brudenell Social Club
08.05. UK - Manchester @ The Phoenix with Day for Airstrikes and Nancy E. Cunliffe
09.05. UK - London @ The Grovesnor with The Bears, Once We Were, and John Macedo
10.05. UK - Birmingham @ The Flapper & Firkin
11.05. France - Nancy @ L'Austrasique
12.05. France - Paris @ Le Tryptyque
13.05. Luxembourg @ D:Qliq
14.05. Germany - Mainz @ Caveau
15.05. Germany - Oldenburg @ Alhambra
16.05. Germany - Munster @ Gleis 22
17.05. Germany - Hamburg @ Molotow
18.05. Germany - Berlin @ NBI
19.05. Germany - Wurzburg @ Cafe Cairo (xyeahx-Festival)
20.05. Germany - Braunschweig @ Nexus (May Conspiracy-Festival)
21.05. Germany - Stuttgart @ Schocken
22.05. Germany - Passau @ Zeughaus
23.05. Germany - Munchen @ Kafe Kult
24.05. Germany - Karlsruhe @ Jubez
25.05. Germany - Magdeburg @ Mikrokosmos
26.05. Germany - Neustrelitz @ Immergut Festival with The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Broken Social Scene, and Radio 4!
27.05. Germany - Koln @ Blue Shell

... And oh, I almost forgot! A few weeks ago I was lucky enough to record some acoustic violin with awesome, spastic Providence, RI band Daughters on one of their tracks for their upcoming record on Hydrahead Records! The song sounded pretty awesome! Very, very big/orchestral/convulsive (but still organized) - a little like creepy, identical, killer marionettes with hammers stumbling mechanically towards you and probably your face. My bandmates Forbes (trumpet and euphonium) and Ryan (upright bass) also recorded on that same track the day before I did, so I felt like the whole experience was very comfy/at home. I absolutely can't wait to hear the finished result. Please watch your local record store for it! I'm sure that because it's Daughters, the entire album will colonize your body!
25 comments|post comment

Oh, medical studies! I love you so. [20 Apr 2006|11:28pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

So lately, I've decided to explore the wonderful world of MEDICAL STUDIES. The way I see it, I've always loved medical attention, and some of these tests sound fabulously creepy, so last Friday, I attended my first!

This particular study was to research the effects of acupuncture on the human brain. They said they would draw about two teaspoons of blood and then stick you into an MRI machine while inserting needles into your arms, legs, or both. You would either get regular acupuncture or acupuncture with ELECTRICITY... bzzzt! I crossed my fingers and wished for the electricity one. Sounds pretty simple, right? Hmmm. Well, read on!

I did the blood drawing first, where I was put in this giant-ass vinyl throne with a pillow under my arm. I thought the giant, orange throne thing made my arm look really small and dinky. Surprisingly, the blood drawing was over in what I swear was less than a minute! That shit spurted really, really fast. The nurse said it was because I was "young and hydrated." I looked down at my thigh and well, okay, she was right. The thigh *was* pretty young and hydrated, sort of like a stupid, wrong-colored, supermarket plum.

Anyway, let's get to the exciting part - the MRI and acupuncture! Sadly, they told me that I would be getting the regular acupuncture. No electrical acupuncture this time. Sadness. They readied the MRI bed/lying-down-thing for me. I couldn't wear my contact lenses during the session so everything looked like white, blobular, pokeable amoebas. They placed pillows all around me to minimize any movement. I had to wear earplugs too, because I was told that MRI machines are very loud. Pillows, earplugs! So far, so good!

But then the research assistant came over to me holding a FACE CAGE! No one said anything to me about a FACE CAGE! This really was a jail for your face with vertical metal bars and everything! I probably smiled a little and I'm sure I looked like a creepy, face-cage-wearing lobotomy patient to them as they put it on.

"Everything all set!", they said in broken English. (They were all Chinese, except for the research assistant). I started sliding all slowly/robotically into the MRI machine, which is basically a long, white tunnel, and was thinking, "Wow! This is great! This is just like Alien Autopsy!" But nope! I really had no clue at all what I was really in for.

The first twenty-thirty minutes was pretty exciting. So disorienting! The MRI tunnel was literally only about 2 inches away from my face (and face cage) and since my entire upper body was in the machine, I had almost zero peripheral vision. I could sense just a teensy bit of light and color at the opening of the tunnel. Even if I tried to see down there, I really couldn't, since I couldn't move and my eyes were contactless anyway. The machine was turned on and suddenly...BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! It sounded like some creepy, deranged midget in faded overalls and plaid shirt was crouching on top of the MRI machine with a hammer, banging away with nothing but sheer, religious, angry, midget fervor! They certainly weren't kidding when they said it would be loud. So there I was, trying to concentrate on Immobile Midget Hammer Supine World when without warning, the acupuncturist took my arm and started mini-malleting a long, thin, very sharp needle into the crook of my wrist, slowly, but with determination - at least, that's what it felt like. Ouch!

And speaking of ouch, I was told beforehand that if I experienced pain, that I should hold one finger up in the air. They would immediately alleviate it, they said. If I felt unbearable pain, then I was supposed to hold up two fingers. Easy enough -- except when the acupuncturist is NOT FUCKING PAYING ATTENTION! Hahaha! So many times, I was frantically waving a finger up in the air, screaming, "One! One! One! Ouch! One!" She couldn't hear me over the midget hammer and for some reason, wasn't aware that I was signaling to her. (Haha, or maybe it was on purpose?) Meanwhile, holy fucking mother of god, the sharpest pain ever is shooting up from my fingers, all the way up to my shoulder. I can't see shit, I can barely breathe, everyone is speaking an indecipherable, medical Chinese around me (through earplugs!), and to top it all off, I can't move at all. Well, at least that's pretty fucking funny, I told myself. That went on for FOUR AND A HALF, torturous HOURS! Near the end, with the fingers on my hand curled into a very, limp, resigned "two," I felt so completely physically and mentally resigned that I shit you not, I almost had an out-of-body experience! I started feeling myself floating out of my own body! I sort of felt like Patty Hearst. Then I suddenly snapped out of it and got really scared. Then, CLICK! I clicked right back into my body. (Not that I went very far in the first place. If I did even leave my body, it was 1/2 inch, maybe 3/4 inch above it, tops.)

I know it sounds horrendous -- and it was! But it was completely, completely worth it! I've never experienced anything like that before and best of all, I was given a copy of my own BRAIN! Once I stumbled out of the MRI machine, all confused and dizzy and exhausted, the doctors held out this copy of my own brain and I was completely dumbfounded! My eyes lit up and my heart surged with warmness. Christmas lights started blinking like crazy inside my body! Alright, now, I'm usually not a vain person at all but the second I saw my brain, I was filled with complete brain vanity! I mean, it just looks SO good! I felt so, so surgingly proud about the appearance of my brain and had a sudden, magical bout of self-confidence for the first time in a long while! It had folds (which I just learned are called sulci, so file that information into your sulci, please!) in the exact right places and the round head silhouette surrounding it framed it just so, almost like a computer-generated science diagram! And so bioluminiscent-looking too! Here, you don't believe me? Check it out for yourself!

I couldn't even believe it really was my own! Doesn't it look nice?

Later that day, I pranced around -- I'm sure, really annoyingly! -- and showed it off to all my bandmates. (Er, I just accidentally typed, "brainmates"!) I don't know if they were scared to disagree with me that my brain wasn't perfect-looking because of my obvious excitement, but they all told me that it really did look nice!

That day was so good. I glowed and glowed!

Next up: Sleep deprivation study! It involves a week-long stay in the hospital. Three of those seven days will be spent awake - no sleeping allowed! The entire time, I'm going to have two needles, one in each arm, have blood drawn every few hours and haha, this is the best part - I'm going to have a rectal thermometer up my butt, 24/7! That's right! 24/7! I'm pretty certain that this is going to be pretty amazing.
57 comments|post comment

European Tour in May!! [02 Mar 2006|12:55am]
Eeeiee! It's official now! I'll be touring Europe almost the entire month of May as a guest violinist with the amazing band Gregor Samsa from New York/Richmond. They're labelmates with my band, Kayo Dot and recently released a split with Red Sparowes. They make gorgeous, ethereal, shimmery, slow music with delicate male and female vocals - go check out their tracks! Countries on the itinerary include the Netherlands, Belgium, France, UK, Luxembourg, Germany, Austria, and Switzerland... wow! I'll keep you updated on more specifics! I'm retardly excited about this! :)
35 comments|post comment

CCC! [08 Feb 2006|03:33pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

Yesterday, a friend of mine told me about an MTV casting call.

Check this out!

"Do you love Monsters?

We are looking for two young Crypto enthusiasts, 18 and older, to host an upcoming fun, hip, and off the wall series that looks inside the world of cryptozoology, creatures, legends, and the people who investigate them. The hosts should be really into cryptozoology, and have an interest or even borderline obsession with undiscovered creatures, mythical beasts, and unclassified species. You should have a unique personality and be comfortable in front of a camera.

If you are interested, MTV wants you to send them an email at crypto@mtvstaff.com and provide the following information:

Name and contact information.
Why you would be the right person to host our show.
Why you love MONSTERS.
Why you believe or disbelieve in their existence.
How you got interested in cryptozoology.
What your favorite cryptid is and why?
What, if any, monster hunts you’ve been on and what adventures you had.
Some background on who you are.

Or you can send a VHS tape to the following MTV address:

Wade Rudolph
MTV Networks
770 Broadway, 10-02F
10th Floor
New York, NY 10003"

W...wow!!! I read this and of course I was hyperventilating! (I still am!) This is exactly what I've always wanted to do my entire life! That is, search out (and better yet FIND!) cryptids for a living! I mean, this *is* basically what I do in my spare time (less lately though, because I've been occupied with music) and how completely amazing and enhanced would the entire experience be to actually have funding for it (maybe they supply tents and water bottles and mongolian death worm-shaped stun guns for expeditions to the gobi desert?) Since I was very young, I've loved sharing my enthusiasm for all things cryptozoological - when I talk about the subject, I feel like I'm going to pop, sort of like an overfed, giant catnip soap bubble and if I somehow, somehow end up hosting this show, I'd be able to share all the cryptoamazingness (mokele-mbembe! nandi bear! loveland frog! ogopogo!) with so many people while simultaneously learning and experiencing so much myself. Ack, this is my dream job! It's too good to be true! I'm actually going to audition and I am crossing all my fingers! Please wish me luck!

AND, eeeiee! Listen to this! The icing on the cryptocupcake. (CCC.) Of course, the minute I found out about this casting call, I rushed to write to my personal hero and friend, world-famous cryptozoologist Loren Coleman about how excited I was about the entire prospect and he was nice enough to write this very encouraging blog entry!


I can't stop smiling. It's sort of creepy, all the smiling and bubbliness, actually, because I can't seem to stop! But I don't care! What's more flattering than encouragement from someone you hold in such high esteem? He's done some amazing fieldwork (he coined the name "Dover Demon" and has led several extensive bigfoot/sasquatch expeditions throughout North America and Mexico), is the curator of the world's first Museum of Cryptozoology, and has written some of my favorite books, including "Cryptozoology A-Z" and "Mysterious America". If you haven't already, I highly recommend you check some of his books out!

I'm leaving for tour in a very short while. Today couldn't be much better! :)

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U.S. and Canadian mini-tour dates!! [04 Feb 2006|09:50pm]
Yay! Another tour! Ten exciting days in Ohio, Chicago, Ontario, and Quebec. :)

This time it's just Toby Driver (main composer/vocalist/guitarist of our band Kayo Dot) and me as a duo in support of his newly-released solo album, "In the L..L..Library Loft" on Tzadik Records. We're performing a 40-minute piece that he wrote called "60 Metonymies" - a really chilled out, modern classical piece for violin and electric guitar with three movements (not anything like the heavier/louder stuff on his solo album.) I hope that we can get over the border okay. I hear it can be tough...! Any ideas?

2.9 - Cleveland, OH @ Inside/Outside Gallery with 9-Volt Haunted House

2.10 - Oberlin, OH @ The Half-Beard (102 Union St.) with the Davis-Lagomasino Duo (members of Capillary Action!)

2.11 - Chicago, IL @ Mr. City (1133 Fulton) with Bird Names, Scalpels, Lee Marvin, and Genders

2.12 - Windsor, ON @ McKenzie Hall with Teach Yourself Piano

2.13 - London, ON @ The Forest City Gallery with I Have Eaten the City

2.14 - Hamilton, ON @ Sonic Unyon Downstairs with I Have Eaten the City and Offensive Orange

2.15 - Toronto, ON @ XSPACE with I Have Eaten the City

2.16 - TBA

2.17 - Ottawa, ON @ Avant-Garde Bar with Wax Mannequin

2.18 - TBA

2.19 - Montreal, QC @ Le Divan Orange with Dead Bush

So incredibly excited!! (nervous too... but more excited!)
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January Tour Dates! [05 Jan 2006|05:25am]
So we've finally got some shows lined up for January to celebrate the release of our new album, "Dowsing Anemone with Copper Tongue"! :)

PLEASE, please, please spread the word about these shows! Most of them were booked last minute, which means there's going to be no time to properly promote the shows.

1/10 @ TT the Bear's / Cambridge, MA with CJ Boyd, Nat Baldwin, and Deertick (18+)

1/11 @ The Saint / Asbury Park, NJ with East of the Wall, Mothguts, and Sketch (21+)

1/12 @ The Knitting Factory Tap Bar / New York, NY with Bloody Panda, Behold...the Arctopus!, and So Is The Tongue

1/13 @ The Jerkstore (120 West 21st Street) / Baltimore, MD with Concrete Facelift, Cult Classics, Heaviness of the Load, and Product of Waste

1/14 @ Sparklehouse (5018 Hazel St.) / West Philly, PA with Belegost and Purple Rhinestone Eagle (ALL AGES!)

1/15 @ Backstage Enterprises (212 Wyoming Ave) / Kingston, PA with Dirt Vultures, Mother Mine, and TBA (ALL AGES! EARLY SHOW... starts at 5 PM!)

1/21 @ AS220 / Providence, RI with Banana Hands, Honeyhander, and Barycoise Orchestra (ALL AGES!)

1/22 @ Mass Art / Boston, MA with Capillary Action, Sparrows Swarm And Sing, and Andrew Tomasello (ALL AGES!)

1/28 @ Hamden Masonic Temple / Hamden, CT with with Jared Paul, Death to Tyrants, and Wind Up Bird

1/29 @ The Flywheel / Easthampton, MA with Capillary Action, Death To Tyrants, and Belltone Suicide (ALL AGES!)

Hope to see you there!!!

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are you scared of ventriloquist dummies? [04 Dec 2005|04:02pm]
then i have a new word for you/us!

ready? it's automatonophobia, a "persistent, abnormal, and unwarranted fear of ventriloquist's dummies, animatronic creatures or wax statues". i had never knew that this was a valid, recognized phobia in the psychiatry world until now! try saying it out loud though... sadly, it's too choppy-sounding and syllabic for my personal aural tastes. i'll keep it a writing-only word then because i like the way it looks a lot - so robotic and even a little distinguished!

anyway, you should store that (maybe) new information in your brain. i'm going to, right now. you never know if maybe one day it will be useful. (show up in a crossword puzzle, etc.)

and speaking of ventriloquist dummies, you have to see this! (WARNING: nudity ahead!)
Read more...Collapse )


Isn't that just one of the creepiest fucking things you've ever seen in your life? It honestly astounds/amazes me. I've been busting this picture out at least one time a week for the last few years to just stare and stare with my jaw hanging in my lap. Anyone who's ever talked to me has probably seen this picture at least once, hehe. I'm a little bit fixated on it, maybe.

I also don't like how the dummy is smiling and how she has her hand over HIS hand, making me think that that little hand was squirming like a tiny rodent underneath hers and leaving tiny fingerprint-shaped bruises on her thigh. AHHH! so creepy. :(
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Revelation of the Day! [03 Dec 2005|12:43am]
You know what I LOVE?

I only really realized it today and it may have been glaringly obvious to everyone else that this thing has the ability to cause this much amazing and limitless glee, but you know how vegetables get much, MUCH smaller when you cook them?

Well, Ifucking love that! It makes my heart swell! Actually, it's probably one of my favorite things right now.

See, check this out!

(Haha, it's not that I didn't think you'd believe me that the vegetables themselves got smaller when you cooked them. This is more to prove that the broccoli-shrinking process *itself* causes glee once you really contemplate the actual situation. No, really, you might be laughing or rolling your eyes but I'm actually dead serious. Take a good look, then think about it! Humor me for a second and please try it!)


I'm so speechlessly happy right now. This is probably why people are so obsessive about mini things like dollhouses, and miniature horses, and all that. I totally get it now. Hallellujah!

Today, I watched carrots, onions, tomatoes, red bell peppers, cauliflower, and broccoli shrink in the cooking pan. There was beef too, but I was trying to ignore it so I could concentrate on all the great vegetables losing their water and smallifying themselves.

Anyway, here they are, ranked in the order of how much fun/glee-causing their smaller versions are:

1. Broccoli
2. Cauliflower
3. Carrots
4. Tomatoes
5. Red bell pepper
6. Onions (*yawn*)

I'm suspecting that this list is going to grow exponentially so I'll keep you updated!

(I'm also suspecting that I may be the only idiot in the world who thinks vegetables getting smaller when cooked is revelationarily cute, but that's okay. And yes, you lost a few brain cells reading this just now.)

*Footnote: I'm very aware that the post-stir-fried broccoli looks like someone pulled it out of a dead, rotting cafeteria woman's slimy little vag and then dipped it in a four day old cup of ebola. And yes, it's making me feel really self-conscious because weirdly, I feel sort of maternal towards these shrinking vegetables, you know? *I* produced them, so they're *my* creation and I'm responsible for their appearance, so naturally, showing you a gross-looking broccoli is making me feel ashamed. FINE, I'll just admit it! I have this maybe-illogical fear of you judging me negatively because of the ugly, small broccoli, OKAY? There, it's out. :(
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